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I don't have a little cryptic story for you today. I've written something about how I feel about being a fan and I'd like to share it with you. Hope you enjoy it.

I've never thought I'd ever be a fan. I didn't understand it. I couldn't get any reasonable explanation of how a human being could simply love someone they haven't met before and who they'd never know for real.

I had a friend who was fan of a singer who used to say she loved him. And I'd always ask her the same, ‘how on earth can you love him like that?’ I could understand admiration, but that's not all a fan feels, it goes far beyond. And she would always answer me that she knew him from the interviews. But I truly couldn't understand that, it would even annoy me.

It happened slowly. I didn't realize I was getting into Mika like that; maybe I didn't want to admit it. It was only when I already knew and loved desperately having him in my life that I could see the first sings of when I started becoming a fan.

The first time he appeared in my life, it was with Grace Kelly on TV. I immediately felt in love with his music, his style and as I found out later, with him. Soon after I downloaded his album and looked for interviews. By then I could tell I liked him. And by then I was already standing up for him without even noticing it.

Now I know. Now I choose to be a fan. Now I choose to be proud of being a fan. Now I choose to stand up for him even more than I do for myself. I still don't understand. I will never understand, but now, I choose not to understand. It doesn't make sense. It will never make sense, but it’s perfect.

It's just simply something that makes me happy. It's a fantasy world where I can always go hiding from the real world. It's a fantasy world in which I find real happiness. But don't get me wrong, I'm not alone there. All my crazy fan friends are there, and we understand each other, and we share our craziness, and we also share our real lives. That's the magic of it all. It's a little piece of unreality stucked in the middle of reality, and then it all gets mixed together and you can no longer differentiate what is real from what is not, and it's perfect.

And he will always be perfect. He will never harm me. He will only mean happiness, no matter what. And just a look at a picture or a video, or the sound of his voice or simply the melody of a piece of art he’s created will make me smile, always. It doesn’t matter if my whole world falls apart; my little crazy Mika world will bring me a piece of sunshine.

I know he probably isn’t what I see. I know that what I see is only a tiny part of him and that part of it is an act. But not all of it is an act, you can’t act every single thing you do or say. And I choose to keep what I see because I like it, and to intensify it. And I choose to make him be my perfect guy. I choose to make him be the perfect human being that only exists in my crazy world. And that’s the one that will never let me down, in which I’ll always find comfort. And that’s the one I’ll always stand up for, cause it’s a reflection of me, of what I want to be, it’s a reflect of my deepest dreams.

Every single word he says, every new picture, every new material, every little thing that I live in my Mika world, makes it bigger, and makes it happier. And I can relate my whole life to it. Cause it is my life. It’s me.

And if it’s so complicated and I don’t have an explanation of my craziness for myself, imagine how hard it is for the people around me. So when either my family or my friends get into your fan world, even if it’s only watching one video with me or saying he has a pretty voice, it makes it all more perfect and it makes me happy. Because it’s me they are saying nice things about, because it’s my choice what they are embracing.

So now, that I am a proud Mika fan, I can say that it doesn’t make sense, not at all. But I can also say that it’s perfect, everything about it, specially the fact that it doesn’t make sense.