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The world needs to stop. How can it even go on while I'm suffering like this? I don't want to be the only one who is feeling this. I don't want you to tell me you understand the way I feel. Cause I know that would only be a lie. I need you to trully feel my pain. I need you to suffer the same way I am suffering. Don't tell me I'm selfish. Don't tell me I just need to ease it. I'm alone on this, no matter how many supportive phrases I get. Don't tell me you care. No one really cares. No one really knows what I'm going through. I'm the only one who is burning up inside. And you can not see. You will never see it. Unless you are feeling what I feel at the same time I'm feeling it.

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I was sleeping when you came and gently caressed my body. I woke up with a smile in my face. We kissed as if the world was about to collapse. I took your clothes off; you did the same with mines.

I could feel the softness of your skin as I drifted through your curves. Touching you, felt like heaven. My hands got lost inside of you.

I kissed every single spot of your perfect body. You surrendered to me. I could feel your pleasure and it only made me wanna love you more.

I just wanted to make you feel, like you’ve never felt before. I just wanted you to love me. But I didn’t dare getting closer to you. I didn’t dare talking to you. Any little thing was enough of an excuse to only posses you in my sweetest dreams.

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I decided to go for a walk through the forest under the moon light. I put on a coat and left.

The leaves were moving fast, making a delicious noise. Only the trees were playing. There didn’t seem to be any other creature awake. Everybody was quiet. I was walking slowly, didn’t want to corrupt the scene.

At every step I took, the air felt more pure. I was just letting the nature delight me, as I got deeper and deeper.

Suddenly, a strange noise comes to my ears. I try to reach it, but it stops. I stayed still. I wanted to find that thing that seemed to have broken the perfect balance of the forest so badly.

And then all of the sudden, I see those huge beautiful eyes staring at me. I smiled and that happy creature squeals and comes closer to me. I gently pat the owl’s head and he finally closes his eyes and goes to sleep.

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I wasn't sure why, but he scared me.

I did what he told me to because I was afraid of what might happen if I didn't.

I went back to my bed, and I was shivering. I thought it was because I was angry for having surrendered, but I was actually completely frightened.

I started crying. I was imagining what he may do to me. I wasn't sure if he was capable of those things. Even though, my thoughts wouldn't let me breath.

I know nothing about him. And that only makes my heart beat faster.

I'm locked in my room, I don't dare going out. I'm locked inside of my own insecure mind.

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I've written this inicially inspired by my brother's wedding and when I was writing it I decided it was gonna be part of my wedding present, so I've made it 'less dark' than all my other stuff.

I'm also posting the version in Spanish that I'm gonna give them.

She was all dressed in white. She was walking towards me. I couldn’t see her face cause of the sun light. But I knew that she was smiling.

As she got closer, I saw a tear running down her cheek.

Every step she took, hurt a little bit more. I could see that in her eyes.

Every single step taken was a prospect slipping through her fingers; it was a piece of the life that she was never going to have.

Her entire world was tearing apart. But there was a whole new horizon at the end of the path, where I was waiting for her. It was so different from everything she’d ever dreamt about, and it frightened her so much…

But she was willing to take the risk. For the first time in her life, she was shinning.

Estaba vestida completamente de blanco. Caminaba hacia mí. Los últimos rayos de la tarde no me permitían ver su rostro, pero sabía que estaba sonriendo.

A medida que se acercaba, pude distinguir una lágrima recorriendo su mejilla.

Cada paso que tomaba dolía un poco más que el anterior, podía ver eso en sus ojos.

Cada paso que tomaba era una posibilidad que se escapaba de sus manos, era un poco de esa vida que ya nunca iba a vivir.

Su mundo entero se desmoronaba. Pero había un horizonte nuevo al final del camino, justo a donde yo la esperaba. Era muy diferente de lo que toda su vida había imaginado, y eso la asustaba tanto…

Pero ella estaba dispuesta a tomar ese riesgo. Por primera vez en su vida, brillaba.

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I took off my clothes and sat down on my bed. The feeling of the silk was relaxing. I laid down and just stayed still. It was such an intense feeling.

There was a fesh breeze caressing my naked body. I could listen to the birds singing. And there was wet grass scent coming from outside the window. The sun marked out my curves and kept me warm. I felt relaxed. It was as if I owned the world.
I was alone. No one could see me. It was all mine. The softness, the wind, the singing. I felt powerful and yet so defenceless.

I was naked. I was just on my own. All my senses were intensified. I was mighty, but I was still, just a little creature lying on a bed, pretending to own the world.

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I have this friend who keeps on saying that she is going to find the end of the rainbow. And that when she does so, she is going to find happiness.
She used to look for it only on the rainy days, when this whole thing started. But now she goes out every single day.
She says she is not obsessed. She says she is close to finding it. Just one more day is what she needs.
She wakes up early in the morning and goes walking. She walks, catch a train here, a bus there, looking for the end of the rainbow. She comes back every night with sadness in her face. And there is nothing you can tell her to make her stop. She just says 'one more day'.
I listen to her crying every night. It breaks my hurt. But there is nothing we can do to make her live in reality.

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Everyone would tell her how lucky she was. Everybody thought all she did was perfect. But she would keep on ruining it all cause she thought she didn’t deserve it.

She was in sorrow and she didn’t know. She was such a good lier, she had even thought herself she was happy. But one day changed it all. She would no longer smile. She would only cry until she did no longer know why.

She was a mess. She didn’t know what to do with her life. She wanted to trust herself. She wanted to be the girl she thought she was. She wanted to be the girl everybody thought she was. She just did not know how.

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I make you suffer. I make you cry. I make you wonder why. And I do the same things to myself. We both suffer. We both cry. We both wonder why.

When I talk, I am cruel; when I don't, I am distant. I don't care about you. I don't like your company. But all I want is to make you happy.

I am not who you thought I was. You are not who I thought you were. And everytime we discover it, it hurts.

We suffer alone. We cry alone. We both want to make it better, but we keep on hurting each other.

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I never thought I would love anyone this much. I didn’t know I could love this much. So much it hurts. So much it makes me cry. So much it makes me happy, like nobody else in the world could ever be.

You are away from me. I can’t touch you, but I can fell you. I feel pain. I feel pleasure.

I can only meet you in my dreams and you are perfect there. You know me, and I know you. You will never disapoint me, cause you are just what I want you to be. You are just an illusion.

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I am going to make a cake. It’s going to have the colors of the rainbow. It’s going to be beautiful. But I am going to make it tiny. And when I bake it, I am going to make sure it turns golden.

Everybody is going to love it and be amazed staring at my tiny colorful cake. But nobody will want to taste it, cause such a beautiful thing can not be corrupted.

People from all over the world will come to admire it. And no one will look at  me anymore. They are just going to stare at my cake.

And one day I will get jealous of my cake and I will eat it.

The cake was so beautiful, but it tasted so bad.

No one will notice I am right there lying on the floor, murdered by a cake. They will all just cry staring at the now destroyed cake in shock.

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It was dark outside. It was cold. It was misty. But I decided to go for a walk. I needed to breathe some fresh air.
I couldn't stand it anymore. It felt like I had a rock in the middle of my body. It wouldn't let me move. It wouldn't let me feel anything but pain. It wouldn't let me breath.
So i went outside. It was dark, cold and misty. I couldn't breath. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel anything but pain.
Made a few steps. Filled to the top with cowardise I turned around and went back home.
I was shivering by the time I got in. I was crying. I couldn't feel anything else but pain.

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I was walking down the street and a tree called my attention. I thought it was covered with spider webs and my body shivered. I keept on walking, getting closer to it. It was black on one of the sides. I decided it had been burnt. There were no spider webs on it, they where just injuries from the fire. There were some pieces of wood just hanging from it. The tree was in pain, it was bleeding. I came closer to it and huged it.

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I went out on an autumn afternoon just to take a walk. It was a beautiful view, it all looked orange and golden.

I just walked and walked for hours. I was simply letting my feet guide me. I wasn’t thinking, I was just walking. I suddenly felt on my knees, my feet were bleeding. I started crying out of pain. I hadn’t feel a thing until then. I was in so much pain, crying and bleeding.

I just stayed on the floor for hours. I was finding it hard to breathe and that just made me cry harder until I couldn’t breath no more.

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He thought it was easy. He thought he could do it.

He went down the stairs and shivered. He wasn’t expecting to find something like that. It was a terrible image. The place was a mess. There were things lying everywhere. And she was there, just in the middle of the chaos. She was drooling on the floor, naked, defenseless.

He walked towards her. It hurted to stare at her like that.

He tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t react. He took her up in his arms. Trying to reach the stairs was a hard thing to do.

He slipped right on the border of the stairs. His head knocked on one step and he inmediately started bleeding.

They were both now covered with blood lying on the floor.

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I was walking down the street with my little black dress. It was raining.
The drops were slowly running down my body. My skin was wet and my dress was pouring.
It was a wonderful sensation, I felt free.
There were no starts in the sky, but I could still see them. There were no clouds in my sky. It was a clear and shinny night.

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I was there, just sitting on the grass. It was still wet from the rain. The smell felt nice. I was having some tea and a piece of cake. I was all dirty, covered in mud.

There was a ladybug flying around, going from flower to flower and she suddenly landed on my foot. She started walking all over me. Then there was a noise, she flyed away, she seemed scared.

He entered in the house, would have never imagined I was in the backyard laying in the mud. He couldn’t find me. I could hear him angrily breathing from outside. He was looking for me desperately.

A minute later, he was on the door, staring at me, my tea and my cake. I smiled at him. I knew that would only make it worse. But that was something I felt the need to do.

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He used to sing on his way to work, but he wasn’t singing that morning.

He used to match his socks to his tie, but that day he didn’t look that good.

He used to go work walking, but he was going by bus this time.

He wasn’t the guy I used to know. He was somebody else, someone who didn’t smile, someone that couldn’t scream to the world his truth.

He had changed, wasn’t the same as yesterday.

But when he got work, he started laughing. He couldn’t stop. Everyone was staring at him and he was laughing. Standing there in the middle of the hall, just laughing.

He walked into his office, still laughing, sat besides his glass desk. Looked at his tie and socks in shock. Took his socks off, put them in his suitcase and worked.

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I woke up, looked beside me. All I found was a piece of paper with my name on it. I opened it. Words didn’t make sense in my still sleepy mind. All I could see were some isolated words.

There was nothing to fear about, but still I couldn’t stop shiverring. Everything looked darker than usual. My life was suddenly miserable and I couldn’t take control of it.

She was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that. I could still feel her hands gently touching my body. A teardrop ran down my cheek. I knew nothing would ever be the same again, the sun wouldn’t rise on my window never again.

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I've made this originally in Spanish. And then translated to English. I like the original version better, so I'll post both.

Sentía que la habitación me devoraba poco a poco. Buscaba algo en que reconfortarme, pero el olor me abrumaba y no me permitía concentrar en nada que me relaje. Sentía el peso de muchísimos años sobre mi, que quería tomar mi historia, que querían llevarse parte de mi.

En un brusco arranque me dirigí hacia la puerta de calle, cuando escuché una voz que me llamaba, al fin había llegado mi turno. Volví sobre mis pasos y me vi encerrada en una habitación aún más antigua que me hacía sentir como a una niña sin su oso de peluche.

I felt as if the room was trying to devour me little by little. I looked for something to rely on, something that would make me feel safe, but the smell was overwhelming and wouldn’t let me focuss on anything which would make me relax. I felt the burden of many years, that wanted to take my story, they wanted to take part of me. In a sudden movement I ran to the exit door when I heard a voice that was calling me. It was finally my time. I went back and I found myself locked into and ever older room that made me feel like a child without his blanket.

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The moon was specially shinny that night, made me feel confident.

I took the knife and walked into our room. He was sleeping quietly, looked like an angel. I could have stared at him forever, but that had to stop, it was a sick obsession.

I didn’t hesitate longer, made a delicate movement and started cutting my stomach slowly. The knife made a soft sharp sound. He turned around half asleep.

The blood was everywhere, flowing naturally. He smiled. We both knew that was just the beggining.